It's amazing at how things can change in such a short amount of time. My focus and energy for the past 2 months has been on what our next step will be in our family building goal. We are still on the waiting list for our referral from South Korea, but I'm afraid that still may take a while. So our surrogate still wants to help us in trying another IVF round. She called us in early January and told us she has a friend that would like to help us out by being our egg donor. Marcio and I were so excited to receive this news and begin yet another journey to fulfill our dream of becoming parents.
So let the phone calls, emails and coordination begin! As I begin contacting the doctors, attorney and psychologist I realize how I'm struggling with the fact that I will not be having a biological child of my own. I'm not one to sit around crying feeling sorry for myself, but this has hit me hard and I think it's in part because I always thought we would have one biological child out of the 9 embryos we produced. I know that I will love any child God places in our life...be that thru adoption, egg donation or biological, but there has just been something tugging at my heart strings and emotions.
Last week I met with my RA doc and we talked a bit more about our family building plans and he agreed to look further into how my RA drugs may affect my egg quality. He also suggested that I see my OB and ask him. I called the OB's office as soon as I left and they had an opening to see me in 30 minutes. Great, let's keep the ball rolling. After explaining my situation with my Doc, he suggested we do some blood work and schedule an ultra sound to see how things look. We discussed the success rates are much higher with egg donors vs. my older eggs and based on how much financially, emotionally and time we have to keep trying our options may be limited. Well, I'm running low on all of the above, but need sometime to think about all this. He did not feel being on my RA drugs should be an issue. Great news there. So I took my emotional self home to ponder his advice and talked to Marcio. After much thought and we decided the most important thing right now is to have a baby and therefore our egg donor is our best option for success, so we will move forward with her.
As I continue to think about all this, since time is what I have the most of these days and I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not. Anyway, I got thinking wondering if our insurance would cover me. I also received a call from my OB's PA and she said that my test was inconclusive since they don't know when I ovulate, she suggested retesting me in 10 days. She also brought up a great idea and suggested that I could co-stimulate with our donor and then see what the best embryos were and go from there. Great idea! After talking to our doctor's office in California, she said they could do that, but it would be double the cost. Not Great. But that brought me back to my initial thought to check our insurance. Well after speaking with them they do cover my costs and our egg donor, just not our surrogate. I'm on cloud 100 right now. So this is my focus for now and we will see where it goes. I may not have good enough quality eggs, but if that is the case then I think that will be the closure I need to fully embrace egg donation.
I often think of this journey as a winding road with many bumps and forks in the road where we are forced to make decisions, but I also see this road lined with beautiful trees and budding flowers that represent the people that are helping us in this journey....whether it be our surrogate, egg donor, doctors and nurses, attorneys or family and friends that support and love us unconditionally. They all play their own very important part in this journey with us.
No comments:
Post a Comment