Mother's Day

Mother’s Day has always been a very special day for me because it’s been the one day set aside to celebrate my Mom. I remember in grade school growing geraniums from seed and I couldn’t wait to give the plant to my Mom. To this day I always plant geraniums in my garden and the smell brings me right back to Lions School and thinking of how my Mom always acted surprised year after year when I gave her the plant. I have such incredible memories growing up and having my Mom as a role model for me. She is an amazing homemaker, she loves to cook, garden and most of all spend time with her children and grandchildren. She is the Nana building sandcastles at the beach on a sunny summer day or constructing the best Thomas train track at her home on a rainy day. All while making an amazing dinner for the entire family and insisting no one does any dishes after dinner. I was over at my parent’s house recently and was looking through old photo albums of the mother/daughter trips my Mom, sister and I took before we started to try to have a family. I treasured the time then, but appreciate it even more now. On Mother’s Day I always think of my friends that lost their Moms far too young and know that this is a bittersweet day for them. They are Moms now so they share the joy of having children of their own, but I also know they miss their own Moms like crazy. And my friends and family that have Moms battling a serious illness that has changed their life forever. Their relationship with their Moms will never be what it used to and I can only imagine how hard it must be to see your Mom in pain and struggling. This year I join my Mom, sister, sister-in-law’s and all my girlfriends in celebrating this special day as a Mom. The past 2 months have been the best days of my life. There is no greater gift than that of being a Mom. It is a feeling I can’t put into words. I love Jake the same way I know my Mom loves me. I will do anything to keep him happy and healthy. Through the past six years while we were trying to have our baby I would think about all the things I couldn’t wait to do with our child. My list is long, but the things I’m most looking forward to are the simple things…reading bedtime stories, having family game nights, making snowmen, watching Saturday morning cartoons, playing at the park, going to Sunday school, spending time with family & friends, singing songs, going swimming together and most of all seeing my baby smile. Jake smiled at me the first time about a month ago and melted my heart in 1,000 pieces. I truly believe it’s the simple things in life that make you the most happy and set your foundation for life. I thank God everyday for bringing Katie into my life. Jake is such a blessing and I will be forever thankful and never take a day with him for granted. I hope this day brings all my friends and family joy and for those who long to be a Mom never lose faith in God, miracles do happen.

A few more days in the NICU

Jake is not happy about his stay being extended. We will hopefully be discharged on Thursday. He is eating great and all his vitals are normal. He just needs a couple more days of antibiotics.
Marcio and I feel blessed beyond words.

My boys

Our baby has arrived!!

Our baby in 3D....

I didn't expect to see our little miracle in 3D...Katie had an ultrasound today and at the end the tech took some 3D shots. I keep looking at the photos and each time I fall more in love. We leave in less than 2 weeks, unless we get a call to come sooner.

Practice Round Done!

Yesterday I was getting stuff done around the house before leaving for work and my phone rings and its Katie. So I get all excited and answer, "Hello" no response, but I can hear some sound in the background which I think sounds like she's at the hospital..again now louder, "Hi Katie it's Beth" no response, I wait a few more seconds and try again "Katie it's Beth are you there?" No response. So I hang up and call her back a few rings and I get voicemail. So now my heart is totally racing and I'm feeling beyond excited. I wonder if I should call Marcio at work, but decide to wait a little longer. So I send Katie and Jay a text and I start to pull up flights on my phone. Jay calls me and said everything is fine, he just talked to Katie a little bit ago and she probably pocket dialed me. Yep that's what happened, she texted me that she had her phone in her shirt pocket so she boob dialed me. I told her no worries, it was a good practice round and everyone passed. We all had a good laugh.

Reflecting on 2011...

Wow as I sit here trying to recall all that happened in 2011, I find myself overcome with emotion. There were two really BIG events that will change my life and my family forever. Henry Albert Vlaming was born on July 2, 2011, 6 weeks early. When I spoke to my sister the morning of July 1st, she said she was leaking a little and was going to see Dr. Z. While she was waiting in the waiting room her water broke, so when she got in the room with Dr. Z he said "well looks like you are having your baby, probably not today, but definitely by tomorrow!" I will never forget the moment Jim called me and told me they were on their way to Good Shepherd to have the baby. I was shopping at Meijer and had a cart full of groceries that I left in the middle of the store. I couldn't get to the hospital quick enough. In between calling my Mom, Dad, Marcio and Brian & Renny, I remember just praying everything would be ok. I have never known anyone to have a preemie baby so I didn't know what to expect. I also remember texting Katie and asking her to pray for my sister and the baby and she said everything will be fine; babies do really well after spending sometime in the NICU when they are born at 36 weeks. She always knows what to say to make me feel better and at ease. It's a true gift. When I walked into the room my sister & I immediately both burst into tears. I was so scared but didn't want her to sense that I wanted to be strong for her. So I noticed she had a paper and pen in hand and was making a list of things that needed to be done. My Mom and of course Jim was there too so we all started talking about dividing and conquering the list. We were all anxious for Dr. Z to arrive to give us an update. What seemed like forever, but was realistically probably only an hour or so he finally showed up. He checked Christine and then explained that the baby was going to be fine, but would have some issues and spend sometime in the NICU. As he listed off the possible things that could go wrong, I just sat there listening and praying harder than ever that he would be ok. So several hours go by and no progress, so my Mom, Dad and I decide to go get some of the to do list items done and leave for a while. After we get back there is still no progress so we all decide to go home for the night. I made Jim promise to call me with any changes. So I went home and didn't sleep that great, every time I woke up I would check my phone and then just pray that God would watch over Christine and the baby. I would keep praying until I fell back asleep. The next morning I went back to the hospital and it wasn't until the afternoon that Henry Albert Vlaming was born. My Mom, Jim and I were all hanging out in the room and Christine was clearly uncomfortable and she asked that we all be quiet. So we were for a while and then Jim and my Mom started whispering to each other. I knew this was not good, so it didn't take long before my sister ordered everyone out of the room. So as I'm walking out, she says "oh I didn't know you were in here" I said yeah, "because I wasn't whispering." Anyway we joined my Dad in the waiting room and Christine's friend Erin came over to see her too. Erin used to be a NICU nurse, so I was trying not to ask her too many questions, but I could tell she was a bit worried too. I can't remember exactly what time it was but Jim text me that she was starting to push. So I am a total nervous wreck. The receptionist must have sensed that me and my Mom were about to jump out of our skin so she asked who we were waiting for. I gave her the room number and she gave us a big smile and thumbs up and I asked her "is everything ok? He's 6 weeks early" and she said yes and then gave me the shish sign over her mouth. Clearly she was giving us privileged information and I was so thankful she did. A little while later Jim came out to the waiting room, looking like one proud new Daddy! He showed us pictures and the baby was so adorable. They hadn't decided on his name yet, so his hospital tag read: Baby Boy Vlaming. So cute. He spent about 2 weeks in the NICU and did just wonderfully, they had one episode where he stopped breathing while he was eating, but that was all. I was so nervous when Dr. Z rattled off the list of possible issues and said he would have some hurdles they just weren't sure what they would be. Besides his one breathing incident he has been just fine. Hank is one tough little guy and oh so cute. 2011 was also incredibly exciting for me because we found out in June that our last and final transfer worked. I have previous posts that go into the details, but I could not leave it out of my top 2 highlights of 2011. It's kind of funny because I do think of myself as unique, I seem to always have things happen to me that really shouldn't, mainly like being diagnosed with RA at age 23 and cervical cancer at age 28. If I had a dollar for every time I've heard "Oh my you are so young to have RA" I'd be rich. But what I'm trying to say is that the odds were not in my favor for my eggs and embryos to be better quality than our 21 year old donor. So this is one time when I'm so happy that these odds didn't work out like they were supposed to. Our baby is going to half of me and half of Marcio. I've always loved seeing parts of my brother and sister in law in my nephew and niece and I so wanted that too. I remember Marcio telling me one time that he can't wait to see my qualities in our baby and I always remembered that and God must have known how important that was to him too. So the second half of 2011 was very special spending time with Hank and just hanging out. It was really neat for me to watch my sister as a Mom. Our whole life has really been Christine following in my footsteps so this is a little adjustment for me. I honestly have to say I feel so blessed that the tables are turned on this one. She has given me such great advice and I really value and respect the way Jim and Christine work together as a team in parenting Hank. I hope and pray Marcio and I do as good of a job. One of the things I've been a little worried about the past several months is if Jake is going to have trouble bonding with me, since my heartbeat and voice will all be new to him. But then I see the way Hank lights up when Jim walks in the room and I realize I've been worrying unnecessarily. So the year was filled with the joy of welcoming Hank and I honestly feel like the rest of the time I spent taking it one week and appointment at a time waiting to hear from Katie about Jake's progress. Just praying that everything continued to go well with our little miracle. And it has, everything has gone so well. The year was also full of our usual gardening, hanging out with friends and celebrating holidays with family. We also were fortunate enough to be able to go to the Packers Pre-Season Game with my brother, Dad and Luke. We had so much fun and agreed to make it an annual event. We missed Christine and Jim and look forward to going with them in 2012. After our 5th BFN (big fat negative) we decided to adopt a Husky dog, long story short he lasted 3 months before we had to return him to the shelter. He responded to Marcio, but felt he was dominate over me and that will not work in our home. I'm really glad we don't have a dog right now. As much as I love dogs, I don't want anything else distracting me from time with my baby. I know we will have another dog someday, but I want it to be when Jake is old enough to help with the daily duties and he can feel like it's his dog. So that won’t be for a while, which is fine with me. I look forward to 2012 with such a sense of joy and excitement. Various people keep telling me, "oh enjoy this quiet time you have now, that's all going to change soon" I respond with a smile and say "yes I know and I can't wait" Most of all I feel so thankful to Katie for helping us achieve our dream of becoming parents. She is one in a million and so is her loving and supportive fiancé Jay. 2012 is going to be an exciting year for them too; they are getting married in May!

Feeling the love...

Ever since we found out our last and final transfer worked I've felt so nervous and anxious. I keep telling myself everything is fine, our prayers are finally answered, everything is great, but for some reason I've been having trouble letting go of the nervous and anxious feelings. So when my sister, Mom and sister-in-law wanted to plan a shower for me I just wasn't sure if I would be able to really celebrate while I'm feeling this way. I think there are some real deep scares from all that we have been thru and as much as I can put that all in the past there is a part of me that won't relax until I'm holding Jake in my arms. But then my friend Stacey had a great point (as she often does) that now that I'm going to be a Mom, I will worry about my baby for the rest of my life. She said she would hate to see me miss out on having a shower and celebrating this special time. So after much thought and prayer, that I wont be an emotional mess the entire time, I agreed. It will be fun to celebrate this special time and get everything set up before the little guy arrives. As it turns out I had 2 showers. My work friends threw me a surprise shower in December, it was supposed to be our holiday party, but instead it was a shower for Jake. I was so touched by all the thought and deail they put into the party. And I surprised myself that I wasn't an emotional mess the entire time. The day before the shower I had one of those days that I was worrying (more than normal) about everything. I had a nightmare that Jake had downs and Katie knew but didn't want to tell us. So I emailed her and asked her a few questions about our recent ultrasound and then told her about my dream. And she made me feel better, as she always does, and told me that the special translucent ultrasound ruled out downs. I, of course, didn't put two and two together. I've tried not to ask alot of questions, I've just been so thankful after every apt that everything has been normal. So my bad for not asking more and making myself have crazy pregnancy dreams. Anyway, my Mom, Christine and Renny threw the most amazing shower ever. There was so much love and thought that went into every detail I will never forget how I felt that day. They did an airplane theme and it was so cute. The guests were greeted and offered an in flight snack and beverage. They had our due date printed on little flags on the straws in the beverages. They ordered Jake this adorable airplane that had a balloon attached to it, so cute. Around Christine's home was beautiful vases of tulips, roses and hydrangia, all my favorites. Then for lunch they made everyone their own personalized box lunch with Portillos chopped salad, sandwiches, chips and my moms lemon bread. All so delicious. I was so touched by all the thoughtful gifts everyone picked out for Jake. Honestly it was so overwhelming and I said to my sister a few days later that I hoped I was showing how thankful I was feeling. I really don't like being the center of attention, so I was just hoping that I wasn't coming accross unthankful. Everyone brought a book for Jake and wrote him a message inside. I waited to read all of the notes until after the shower....we are an emotional family, so it doesn't take much to get me going these days and I didn't want to end up being an emotional mess. It's kind of irronic that the shower was planned the day before my 40th birthday. I always said I would keep trying to have a baby until I turned 40. I told my family that I didn't want to do anything for my birthday I just wanted to focus on Jake and getting ready for his arrival. Having a baby has been my focus and priority for the past 6 years and my dream is finally coming true. I feel blessed and thankful beyond words to be able to celebrate and share this exciting time with all my friends and family. I pray that I continue to feel the love and from this special day for a long time.

Our beautiful baby boy

Whenever a friend or family member would show me a ultrasound picture of their baby I wouldn't think much of it. I would be excited for them of course, but didn't really get the same joy they were feeling. Well now that I'm a mommy to be I just so happen to think the ultrasound pictures of my baby are the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Here is a little poem I found that is just perfect.. Miracle... We treasure this first glimpse of you, The amazing miracle of life is true. So small, yet awesome in what you'll become. Grow strong and healthy our little one, We are here dreaming and waiting, wishing, preparing and anticipating. Each day is a step closer to life anew, Each day a touch closer to holding you...

Getting the nursery ready...

I always knew Marcio was a talented artist, but I honestly didn't realize how talented he really is. I think the above picture says it all. I smile everytime I walk into the nursery. Marcio asked me what my favorite part is and that is impossible to answer. I love turtles, so the Mommy and baby turtle are up there, but the dolphin was the first one he painted, and I was so impressed at how perfect it looked. I can't wait to rock Jake to sleep in his very own ocean!

I'm finally going to be a Mom

Well, it's been so long since I've posted, but my prayers have finally been answered.
We are going to be parents. I'm going to be a Mom. We are having a baby boy. I am happier than I have ever been.
I know I can't put into words the over whelming feel of joy, excitement, gratitude and true blessing that I have been feeling the past months.  Our little miracle is due February 20th and everything has been going really well.  All the tests and ultrasounds have been normal and our surrogate is truly the most thoughtful and giving person I have ever met.
Marcio and I were able to go out for the big 20 week ultrasound, which ironically was scheduled on our anniversary. It was so special to be there and to find out together that we are expecting a son. That is a feeling I will never forget. We left the room and sat in the waiting room and called our Moms and told them the exciting news as they were hanging out together awaiting our call.  We then shared the news with the rest of our family and friends. We spent the rest of the weekend enjoying time with our surrogate Katie, her children and her boyfriend and his family.  Jays parents invited us over for dinner and we had the nicest visit.  We went to church with Jay, Katie and her children and then went to a Game place for some fun.  What a great time we had.
Marcio and I had always had our girl named picked out so when we found out we were having a son we talked for a long while about different names. I've always loved the name Marcio, but Marcio did not want a Jr. it's too confusing. I love the name Jake, I like Jacob too, but I really like Jake and I've always liked the fact that I'm just a Beth. My Mom and Dad liked Beth and wanted me to be just a Beth. I guess that's part of why I want Jake to be just Jake. So we agreed on Jake Marcio Mardones. Jake for the reason I just explained and Marcio after Marcio and his Dad's middle name was Marcio. I think this is a nice way to honor Marcio's Dad. He had such a love for children and I know he is watching over us and is so proud that is son is going to be a Dad. We love and miss you Fernando.