Feeling so alone....

I often wonder what are the chances that someone else can relate to exactly what I'm going thru and have experienced the same road bumps as me?  What are the odds that there is someone else out there that was diagnosed with cervical cancer, has RA, tried to conceive a baby thru surrogacy with frozen embryos and is now co-stimulating with a donor to transfer embryos to a surrogate.  I doubt it.  I think of myself as a unique person and that is a good thing and I certainly hope no one else has to or has gone thru all that I have and do on a daily basis.  The RA  is enough by itself.  I wake up everyday with my first thought being...what hurts, what joints are moving, do I need to take my meds now in hopes they will start working so I can start working.  I'm so thankful that I had a cortisone shot in my knee a week ago.. I feel like a new person.  Going to the bathroom is no longer an dreaded challenge.  Healthy people take getting on and off the pot for granted....for someone with RA that is not always easy.
Anyway, I joined an online support group in hopes to find someone to relate with what I'm going thru.  Well, I started by asking if anyone has RA and is going thru IVF...no replies...then I try anyone co-stimulating with an egg donor to transfer embryos to a surrogate...no replies.  Yes, I am one in a million!  That's ok I still visit the site to see if I can relate to some other situations my co-infertile are dealing with.  I can't.  They talk in alot of code...like MENTS which means "might be hard to read"...i read alot of those and didn't understand what was hard to read.  Perhaps I'm just different, I dont' have emotional trouble being around babies...I never have.  I get that everyone's reality is there own and some people have alot of trouble being around babies when they are having fertility problems. As much as I feel alone in this process I've been very open about what we have been are are going thru with my family and close friends.  It means alot to me to be able to share this with them and have them understand what we are going thru.  They have all been wonderful,caring and supportive. My Mom has always been there for me no matter what and she cares so much to learn about this whole IVF process by asking alot of questions to ensure she understands.  My Mom is what every child dreams for in a Mom...caring, loving, helpful, supportive, but not overly intrusive.  I know how much my Mom wants Marcio and I to have a family and I'm equally as excited to have her help, guidance and support as a new mom.  I love that she cares so much to ask the right questions, to learn what we are going thru, and to know to just take one day at a time with me.  My sister has also been my rock.. she is expecting her 1st in Aug and she has said to me on a couple occasions that she knows this timing is bad.  It's not bad timing I just pray things work out for us this year too so our kids will be close and we can be new Moms together.  My sister and I are extremely close and she has always looked up to me for advice and I can't help her now.  I guess even if we already had a child I would not be able to help her with pregnancy questions. 
Well..one week until we leave...I can't wait!!

So Ready for the next round!

Today has been an amazing day. I have such a sense of peace about what we are going thru and about to go thru.  The last few weeks have been a whirl wind of appointments, phone calls, medication orders, etc.  I am co-stimulating with our donor and we will transfer our embryos to our surrogate.  My hope is that I produce at least one healthy embryo to include in the transfer.  We will see.  So far so good with all my test, I have 15 follicles on my one lonely ovary.  That is great!!  Now it just needs to produce some great eggs and I will be one happy camper!
This has been such a long road, I'm so hopeful this will be our time for some good news.  If all works as planned we could have a newborn by December.  I just beam from ear to ear at the thought of being a Mom for Christmas 2011.  My sister is due in Aug so our kids would be close in age and that is so wonderful. 
Marcio and I leave in one week for California!! I'm so excited that we are able to stay with one of my best friends, I look forward to spending some quality time with Chris and the family during this very special time in our lives.